"Who're You?": Thoughts on Identity

     Heyo everyone. Today, I want to talk about identity. How do we define ourselves? This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. So here are my thoughts.

     There are several ways I see people defining themselves. One of the most obvious is through physical appearance. Humans judge one another on sight simply as a survival instinct, so expressing and defining yourself through your appearance makes a lot of sense, since it's a pretty accessible field of expression. Here at UCSC, I see so many super weird looking people and I love it! That's what's called wearing your identity on your sleeve I suppose. Even if you don't intentionally express yourself this way or don't express yourself fully in terms of your appearance, this tends to say something about you as well.

     Closely related to physical appearance, another way people create identity for themselves is through their taste or style, their preferences for the things they like. This shows up in the possessions they own, the way they decorate their spaces, and even certain activities they engage in. Again, this field of self-expression is both easily changed and created by the individual and easily observed by others.

    Another way an individual can define their identity is through their actions, and I'd say that among the methods explored so far, actions probably say more about a person than the other two options. However, they are often more difficult to observe fully and therefore sometimes become fallback material for defining identity, while appearance and taste/style are more closely observed by others and sometimes more meticulously curated by the individual. However, an individual usually has control over their actions, and governs them according to certain rules or beliefs they hold for themselves. Therefore, actions can be closely monitored by the individual in order to create the identity that they want to portray.

    What thinking about all of this has made me realize is that identity, at least as far as the outward persona goes, is a performance. Additionally, identity and how we identify ourselves is constantly changing and always in flux.

     Accepting this has been difficult for me. It's hard for me to keep up with myself when I'm changing all the time! Keeping a handle on who I am and how I ought to be portraying myself is kind of a hassle. Some days getting dressed in the morning takes me fifteen minutes (a lot longer than usual).

     I believe another thing about identity, especially the part of it we perform, is that is has a lot to do with who we think we should be and how we want to be seen by others, rather than who we truly are. It seems to me that through the clothes we wear, the way we talk, even the things we do, we are constantly trying to be who we think we should be. We base this concept of "who we should be" off of other people we admire and compare ourselves to. 

     Some things I do because I like them, and I genuinely enjoy doing/wearing/being those things. However, there are definitely plenty of other things that I do to be the person I think I should be, to portray myself the way I want others to see me. I think it's important, for me as well as others, to wonder what we would be like if we did not try to hold ourselves to outside standards and be "who we should be".

    Ultimately, the most important thing to remember is that life is a continuous process, and that we are never the same person from one minute to the next. We need to accept and embrace that we are constantly changing, and let ourselves be free to be who we are, rather than comparing ourselves to others. These things are kind of hard to remember, at least when you're 19, but I'll try :)

                                                                                Love,
                                                                                     Madeleine

Photos: mine, 2