Friday, April 8, 2016
The Times, They Are a'Changin'
It sure has been a long time since I last posted! And what a transformational time it has been. Someone I know says that college operates much like dog years - time is elongated in much the same manner, so much so that I feel probably ten years older than when I started college (I wonder how I'll feel when I actually am 28 - oh jeez).
Thanks to this principle - what my friend calls college years - I have changed a lot since I last posted on this blog. I have become incredibly more politically conscious and concerned, particularly in terms of U.S. issues concerning social justice. I shaved my head in September (forgot to mention that when it happened, oops!) and have since been undergoing a strange sense of transient identity, which is certainly related to the lack of hair but also to other factors as well. I have taken on very demanding leadership positions in two organizations and have progressed in my major with strong academic standing. The resulting stress of these two components of my life has definitely had a hand in changing my personality. I've fallen in love with some people (both romantically and platonically [friend love?]) and out of love with others. I've experimented, both on purpose and by chance, with different ways of living and conducting my daily habits and life.
I have to say, I seem to be at a point where the more I explore myself and my thoughts and the world around me, the more I feel lost and bewildered. Most of the time this is not unpleasant, but I have to say it certainly throws me off balance. The most important thing I think I want to convey to all of you is that I have CHANGED, a million times over, since I last wrote. I have very little sense of "me-ness" at this point, just because my sense of self has evolved and eroded repeatedly and rapidly over these past six months. I wonder if by coming back here, I can re-establish, or at least begin to explore myself again.
Reading my old content is interesting - some of it is great, and some of it, I now disagree with, or find that it misses a mark I'd like to hit with what I write nowadays.
However, now that I've decided to come back and post here again, the time has come to look forward instead of backward. So, what can you expect from this space in the near future?
I suspect, a lot of things that I would have written about before I ~changed~ but probably from a different point of view. I expect I will want to write things from a slightly more politically charged perspective - some of the things I used to write here were pretty apolitical, despite ample opportunities for me to integrate an agenda (hehehe). My interests have not completely changed, but I think they have broadened, so there might be a lot of different stuff on here, who knows? Ultimately I think it will be a similar array of things, since I never limited myself to a rigid set of themes anyway. I intend to use my writing as a tool of self-exploration, but I also hope that you, as a reader, can enjoy and relate to it. Lastly, I've always thought that this kind of writing ought to be fun. That's really what some things in life gotta be about, right? I have discovered that I LOVE writing, so whatever I share here will make me feel fulfilled, and perhaps, also pensive, and I hope it does something similar for you.
It's important that I let y'all know that all this changing has not been negative. I think the tone I'm using here might sound kind of somber or serious, but really it's just me being thoughtful and reflecting. These last six months have been formative, action-packed, and at times, very rewarding and fun. And some parts of me still endure. The shopping ban continues (it's been so long since I bought clothes!) and my Etsy shop lives on, hooray! Before closing, I want to ask a few things, since I've been gone for a while. Have any of you ever undergone intense periods of change? What triggered those? How did you deal with the change or approach it? Also, how have the last six months been for you? It would be nice to hear from y'all again :)
P.S: This blog will currently be updated on at least a semi-consistent basis every Friday :)