Hello my beautiful friends, today I am talking about a very exciting topic, conquering fear! I feel that this is a very important topic to discuss, because for most of us, fear controls our lives to some degree (it's okay, you can admit it, you're scared of stuff too). Recently I've been doing a little conquering of my own, so I want to discuss my epiphanies and offer any help I can to the rest of my fellow humans.
To begin, let me share a bit with you about my own experiences with fear. Prior to this point in my life, I kept up a lot of fear-based habits. I barely communicated with some of my old friends from high school, fearing that they no longer cared about me. I kept up a relationship that had long since passed its expiration date because I was terrified of being lonely, and I was so afraid to face myself without him there validating me. My fear of other people's opinions of me kept me from doing and saying so many things. I had so many negative and fear-based beliefs about myself and about life. I was getting by, and even enjoying myself a lot of the time, but still, the fear affected me deeply.
Did any of those examples resonate with you? Fear has a hold on every heart, to some extent. Luckily, there are ways to, yes, conquer it!
First, you must pinpoint your fear. If you have negative feelings about any situation, they are probably fear-based. Maybe you feel bad about not hanging out with your friends often enough. This could be because you are afraid they could dislike you, or because you are afraid to be alone and face yourself. Find your fears. Write them down and identify them.
Now comes the actual conquering part. There are several ways of going about this. One excellent way is to follow your fears. I love the quote "Fear is the path to adventure," because it is so true! Fear can actually be seen as a guiding force. When you are afraid of something, that is your gut pointing you towards the next thing to tackle and overcome.
When taking this approach, time is of the essence. There is another quote I am fond of that reads "Procrastination breeds doubt," which is very true. The more time you have to think about doing something, the more you overwhelm yourself with negative thoughts. When this does happen, you must try to expel the doubt from your mind. But how? Well...
The core of overcoming your fears is believing in yourself. Once you come to terms with the fact that you are all you have to survive, you will realize that doubting yourself - about anything - is about the least productive thing you can do with your time. And suddenly it kind of becomes a tough-self-love thing, where every doubt you can eliminate is washed away simply for the sake of efficiency. You can be your own rock. You can get through anything. You don't have to listen to anyone else's opinion about you (good or bad) because you know within yourself that you are good, and your own affirmation is all you need.
I'm not saying that you don't need other people - don't abandon your friends! I'm also not saying that this process is quick. But honestly, coming to the realization that my self doubt didn't serve me, and that I am the only person who can make myself happy, really helped me realize how unproductive harboring fear is. I'm still learning. I'm not a guru, and life is a continuous process, but I seriously believe this advice can help people out there, because it helped me.
For more life advicey stuff, surf my Life Ideas tag. For more help on this specific topic, I highly recommend reading The Four Agreements. It's a brilliantly helpful book. Now go forth, and conquer thy fear! ;)
Photo cred goes to the lovely Madeline Stone!